How do you know if someone is trying to groom a child online?
Establishing whether a child is actually being groomed online can be a difficult process. Teenagers, in particular, are often very protective and sometimes secretive about their lives (online and offline), and in many situations this can be thought of as being a ‘normal’ part of growing up. The following is a list of clues or indicators that all might not be well with the child or young person’s online life. This does not necessarily mean that they are actually being groomed, but can serve as an indication that you need to explore and investigate further their on- and offline relationships.
- The child quickly changes or turns the computer screen off when you come into the room
- The child uses (often unnecessarily) other computers to access the Internet (e.g. friends, cybercafés etc), or has alternative mobile phones or SIM cards that are kept from you
- The child is receiving gifts or money that they cannot adequately explain (e.g. mobile phones, prepaid mobile phone cards etc)
- The child is secretive or appears to be hiding information from you
- The child appears withdrawn and/ or aggressive with regard to you, your family, and their friends
- The child uses phrases or language that is not common for their age or experience (e.g., sexual terminology)
- The child’s behaviour changes inexplicably, especially if their behaviour or play appears to be sexualised
- The child becomes overly, or unnaturally concerned and protective of parents, family members, and pets physical welfare (which may have been threatened as a form of grooming control)
- The child uses their computer or mobile phone at unusual times, particularly late at night
- The child refers to a new friend (maybe on the Internet) who appears to be much older than they are
- The child employs encryption technology to encode their emails
- The child suddenly does not want to use their computer or phone, removes the cam from their computer etc
- The child’s usage cost suddenly increases or decreases
- You can not establish how the child’s usage is being paid for
- There are unexplained credit card transactions or phone calls on your bill
- The child attempts to include siblings and friends in their online activities
- There is disruption in the child’s sleep patterns
- Teachers or school staff report concerns over your child’s use of Internet or mobile phones
- The child’s use of the Internet and their phone increases but and there is a noticeable drop in their socialising with peers and friends
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