How do you know if you are being groomed online?

It is important to remember that online grooming is often quite difficult to recognise, and that sometimes you might even think you are being groomed when someone is just trying to be friendly. However, as your safety (and that of those around you) is at stake, it is always better to be over-cautious. Prevention is far better than cure when it comes to online grooming.

The following are some ‘clues’ to look out for that someone might be trying to groom you online…

If someone ……

• asks for identifying personal information about you or someone else, especially early on in the relationship
• is interested in exactly where you are, and who is with you or near you
• wants you to keep your ‘relationship’ a secret from others
• tells you things which make you feel uncomfortable
• asks about your sexual experience, or how you feel about doing certain sexual things
• is interested in what you are wearing, or wear to school or bed
• wants to know if you have a boy or girlfriend
• is interested in your timetable or schedule, and when you will be alone or not with your parents or caregivers
• wants to communicate with you (phone, text, chatroom etc) at weird hours, e.g. when every one else is in bed or out
• is interested if you are unhappy or lonely, and whether you get ‘enough attention’ or get along with your parents or caregivers
• wants to meet with you alone or in secret
• wants to send you a mobile phone so they can talk with you
• wants you to send them pictures of you or of other people, and/ or wants to send you pics of themselves
• wants you to go to websites that contain pornography
• is much older than you and wants to be friends
• gets angry at you and tries to get you to ‘make up with them’
• wants to send you gifts that you think are excessive (over-the-top in value or, are of a very personal nature)
• asks you to move your webcam so they can see certain things.
• somehow seems to already know things about you that you have not told them

The above list is a list of potential clues that the person you are communicating with is trying to groom you. Even if only one ‘clue’ applies to you, it should still be taken seriously.