Parents & Cyberspace
New page on helping young people deal with upsetting online content
Young people are likely to come across a range of different material when exploring the internet. While a lot of this material will be fun, educational or informative, some of the content they view may be upsetting or cause them distress. NetSafe’s Contact Centre frequently receives calls from concerned parents who are wondering how best to help their child when they’ve accessed disturbing online content. Click here to read some simple guidelines, or here to email the contact centre directly for advice and support.
'Safe searching' tools
We were recently contacted by a parent who wanted to let other parents know about Google's 'Safe Search' option. Safe Search (and other similar tools) can be a useful way to avoid internet searches bringing up inappropriate content, and can be particularly helpful for those with younger children.
However, it is important to keep in mind that online safety should ideally include more than just setting up a safe search engine for the family to use. Because no filtering program can be 100% effective at blocking adult, scary or inappropriate material, it is important that education and critical thinking skills are provided alongside any technological intervention.
Critical thinking skills, and education are key to keeping kids safe online - not least because they are portable, and travel with children when they visit friends' houses or internet cafes (where safe searching tools may not be in place). Also, NetSafe research is finding that as children get older, they are more and more able to get around technological barriers such as filtering and safe search engines. (It also pays to remember that problems like bullying online are not prevented by filtering or safe search tools). Please note that many safe search engines are deactivated when you delete your cookies. If you are interested in Google's Safe Search, you can visit www.safesearch.co.nz
Helping your child to be safer on social networking sites (like www.bebo.com, www.myspace.com)
Social networking sites like www.myspace.com and www.bebo.com can be fun to use as well as an effective way for young people to link up with friends and people who have similar interests. As with many online environments, there are some risks involved in interacting with others and putting personal information online. Such risks can include cyberbullying, exposure to anti-social or illegal material, and being targeted by sex offenders or others who may wish to cause harm.
As many of these sites are used by young New Zealanders, caregivers can help minimise such risks by getting involved in their child's online life and providing a tool box of strategies to help them stay safe while having fun online. We have just posted some strategies for young people in the Young Adults section of our website including:
Keeping safe on social networking sites
Dealing with bullying & identity theft on social networking sites
Identifying and dealing with online grooming for sexual abuse.
Feel free to read over the material and to get in touch with the NetSafe contact centre (0508 NETSAFE/638 723 or queries@netsafe.org.nz) if you have any questions. Click here to read a NetSafe press release about young people and social networking sites.
'NetGuide for Parents' out now
 On June 25th NetGuide published an A4 special magazine for all parents, caregivers, grandparents, teachers and others in the community. Written in consultation with NetSafe, the 72-page publication is geared to people interested in online safety and points out how technology can be adopted without exposing young people to the dangers.
In it you will find the facts about:
- Setting the ground rules
- How to deal with disturbing material online
- Your children's personal stuff online
- Chatting and instant messaging
- Bullying and harassment
- Online dating and personals
- Mobile phones, games and downloading
- The Internet and the law
- Buying online and using credit cards
- Filter software you can buy and family-friendly ISPs
- and much more!
Material is not confined to Internet issues. Topics are up-to-date with all new popular technology covered including handheld gaming devices and iPod-type music players. It is now on sale at supermarkets, bookshops where NetGuide is sold or through www.magshop.co.nz and copies are $7.95 each. For more information check out www.netguide.co.nz
Education about grooming is an important strategy against online sex offenders
A big concern for parents and caregivers is the safety of children and young people in online chatrooms. One of the risks in these venues is that children may encounter a sexual predator who will try and develop an online relationship with the child, and perhaps later progress that relationship to a face-to-face meeting. This process of gaining the trust of a child, and isolating them from those who might protect them, is called ‘grooming’ and happens sometimes in offline and online situations of sexual abuse. Grooming itself can be a harmful process, even if the child and the offender never meet.
The Internet Safety Group has developed new education about grooming, because if we can identify the behaviour earlier we can better protect children and young people from the serious risk it presents. Click here if you would like to read more…
Chain-letters via email or text
There have been several variants of chain-letters either via email or text message in the last couple years, so it would be good to talk with your kids about chain-letters in general. Several that were circulated in New Zealand were quite sadistic, showing children graphic photos of mutiliated bodies and threatening them with death if they did not forward the message to a stipulated number of friends. Whether the chain-letter is silly or threatening, it should not be sent on, but rather just deleted. Talking the issue over can help to assure children and young people that chain-letters are all hoaxes and nothing good, or bad, will happen by just deleting.
Some young people who are more prepared for shocking material on the Net won't react strongly to these messages. However, horrific images or descriptions coupled with threats could be taken quite literally by some children, who might be very frightened. If your child is upset, you can explain how chain-letters work and that the threat is not real. Also, that some people may view such a message as a joke and enjoy scaring others. By equating it with serious bullying/harassment you may help diffuse some of the fear. Feel free to email the ISG if you have further questions.
If your child has already forwarded one of these threatening chain-letters because they were afraid, it is wise not to be too hard on them. They will already feel badly about it and you can help them develop strategies to deal with the situation in the future. It is worth noting that a few of these messages would be considered illegal material in New Zealand and if forwarded maliciously could result in legal action.
Pamphlet especially for parents
A new pamphlet for parents has been produced by ISG and the Police Youth Education Service (YES). This is available free-of-charge from ISG. Just send us an email from the bottom of any page of NetSafe and give us the quantity you need and your postal address. Alternatively, you can click on the link below to download it in PDF format:
Keeping Kiwi Kids Safer in Cyberspace - Parent Pamphlet
Police Education Officers will be incorporating Internet and mobile phone safety into their Keeping Ourselves Safe and Kia Kaha (anti-bullying) programmes. When they do a programme at a school they frequently work with parents as well. You can ask your school if they will be having YES do their programmes in 2003.
Many parents are feeling a bit overwhelmed with their children's facility with new technologies like the Internet or text-messaging. Kids are amazing in their flexibility and adaptability when it comes to learning new things. The challenge for parents, especially those with limited awareness of the Internet, is how to keep up.
It is important, though, that you get past any unease about the Net, both to be able to monitor your children in their explorations and to acquaint yourself with a technology that has much to offer you as an individual. Meeting with other parents, perhaps at a school evening devoted to Internet safety education, can be a great place to share concerns and resources.
The text generation: Mobile phones and New Zealand youth
In February 2005 NetSafe released the results of their latest survey 'The Text Generation', which will be of great interest to parents and caregivers. There are very few parents in New Zealand who are not already aware of how profound the impact of this technology is. From seeing students chatting on the phone as they stroll along to school, to having kids texting at the dinner table, the impact of mobile phones on many Kiwi families is readily apparent. However, the same phones that can be superb safety devices can also link children and young people to text chat rooms where they can meet strangers online, and can sometimes be the method used for relentless harassment/bullying. As well, some phones may soon offer easy access to adult content.
Understanding the social impact of these devices on young people can help in educating them about staying safe as the technology continues to develop. This new NetSafe survey illustrates some of the many ways that phones are being integrated into the lives of young people, and especially the very positive impact that parental involvement and monitoring can have.
There is no doubt that monitoring mobile phone use is often difficult, but communicating with young people about appropriate use of the devices, and keeping a watchful eye on usage, can have a very helpful effect.
You can find the report on the key findings of this survey in the 'Research' section.
Questions about the right product or service for your home
For those parents who have questions about filtering and monitoring options, visit the Products & Services page of NetSafe. You can also find a list of safe sites for children and young people at www.netguide.co.nz. Just click on 'Kids' under 'Quick Links'.
If you have any other questions please don't hesitate to contact us by e-mail or by phone on 0508 NetSafe (638 723).
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