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Keeping safe on social networking sites like Bebo & MySpace
Getting Started: Your Profile
Setting up your profile is heaps of fun - and work! There are a few things you should think about.
What you are saying
Your blog, profile and your comments can be seen by anyone who has access to the internet. Do you want everyone reading about the fight you had with your best mate? Or the confessions you thought were private on IM?
Pics of yourself
Who do you want to see you? How do you want to be seen? Would you be ok with your grandma checking out the pics of you at that party? It pays to think really carefully about your pics and to remember that once you put them up there you don't know where they'll go or who will see them.
MySpace user Lydia (17) says: ''At first I had pictures of myself where I was in quite a low-cut top. I was bombarded by guys wanting to be my friend. These guys blatantly just trawl the Net perving over private photos. After that I really toned my page down and made it private''. [from the Independent].
Pics of your friends
Asking permission before you post a pic of someone else is the decent thing to do. Would you appreciate a mate posting that 'funny' pic of you at the afterball?
Ready to go: Making & Meeting Friends
Making friends
Making friends and hanging out with them online is the whole point of social networking. Here are some tips on how to do this as safely as possible.
1. Be aware that talking online can be disinhibiting. This means that you might act in ways that you wouldn't offline because you feel like no one will know who you are. Also, the fact that you can talk to people online many times a day can make you feel like you know them really well really fast, even if you don't!
2. Remember that people online can experiment with different personalities and can tell you lies about who they are, where they are and what they want - so just think about whether you really know who you are making friends with.
3. It's smart to be careful with the personal stuff you tell your online friends.
*Julie (14yrs) met Sian on her MySpace page and would regularly post comments on each other's pages about what was happening in their lives - including some personal stuff. One day she arrived at school and saw the conversations taped up everywhere. Her 'friend' was a guy in her class who wanted to make her look stupid.
4. Don't add just anybody as a friend. Remember: quality not quantity.
5. Don't feel pressured into responding to comments posted on your page. You wouldn't necessarily talk to just anyone in the street so why talk to them online?
6. If someone is creeping you out, don't talk to them. Block them and report them to the social networking site [take a look at the Bullying, Identity Theft & How to Report page in this section].
What about meeting face to face?
Ok, so you've met someone online and want to meet in person. Before you start setting up a face to face meeting, you might like to remember that your friend might not be 100% honest about themselves. Because of this, it makes a lot of sense to take some steps to make meeting as safe as possible.
You should always use your common sense, just like you would when you meet strangers in offline situations.
1. Tell your caregiver and your friends that you'd like to meet someone from online.
Meeting someone in person is taking a chance - so people who care about you need to know about it. Your online friend should totally understand you being careful; if they are for real they are more likely to want to be careful too!
2. Be careful about giving out your personal details before you meet them.
This includes your addresses (both home and email), phone numbers, and even your full name. If you don't want to give out your phone number before a meeting, you could instead arrange to have something like a magazine in your hand, or wear a particular colour.
3. Stage your first meeting in a public place during the day and bring a caregiver or some friends.
Perhaps meet at a cafe. Again, your online friend should understand why you're being careful and should want to be careful themselves.
*James(15) met Rachel(16) online and after six months they decided they wanted to meet in real life. James and his parents arranged to meet Rachel and her parents in a cafe in Auckland. Even though it was a bit awkward having the parents there at first, both James and Rachel wanted each other (and the parents) to feel safe about them meeting someone from the internet. James and Rachel now live together with in a flat under James' parents' house.
4. During the meeting, be careful about giving out too much personal information.
If you feel uncomfortable during the meeting, it's ok to leave straight away. You can say something like 'I'm feeling sick and really need to go home now', then get up and go. If you are going to keep in touch, it's a good idea to talk via the social networking site until you figure out what you'd like to do. This way, you have time to think things over.
5. After the meeting, think about how it went and what your intuition tells you about the person and the way they handled themselves. If you have doubts, don't see them again. If you would like to see them again, make sure things go at a pace which is comfortable for you.
Being bullied or harassed on a social networking website? Take a look at Bullying and identity theft on social networking sites.
Want to find out about protecting yourself from sexual predators while using social networking sites? Take a look at our page on Online grooming and sexual abuse.
*we have changed details in these stories to maintain client confidentiality
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