Parents & Caregivers

Vodafone NZ,  Telecom NZ and 2degrees mobile have joined with NetSafe and the NZ Police to combat text bullying.

Text bullying can take a number of forms:
- mean or offensive messages - received once or repeatedly
- being bombarded by a large volume of messages (e.g. over 25 a day)
- offensive or upsetting photo or video messages
- threatening messages
- persistent unwanted messages

Many people who are text bullied do not feel comfortable talking with others about the bullying. But talking with someone can help. As a parent or caregiver it is important to support a young person to work with their school, their service provider or even the Police if the situation is very serious. Text bullies leave an electronic trail, so they can be caught, and, if their behaviour is criminal, they may even be prosecuted.

Because mobile phones are such an important part of a young person's social life it is important to be as calm as possible if an incident comes up. Many young people tell us they will not talk with an parent or any adult because they fear the technology will be taken away from them. Let young people know that you will support them to work on the problem and not isolate them from their social networks, or take their phones away.

What to do about unwanted messages
- Don't reply. Sometimes the sender will get bored and stop sending messages if they don't get a reply. Another reason for not replying is that if a complaint needs to be made to the telecommunications company, replying can delay the process. Often people will reply to messages if they do not recognise the number, or because the content is upsetting. If they have sent just a single message asking 'Who is this?' or asking the person to stop texting , this should not delay the complaint process.

- It is also important to keep the messages until the content is reported. If not on the phone, keep a log of the time, date and content of the messages, as well as the phone number the messages were sent from. The date and time of the message is usually contained in a 'time-stamp' at the beginning or end of the text message.

- Encourage young people to talk to a trusted adult (for instance a parent or caregiver, a teacher or guidance counsellor at school). It's important they talk to someone about what's going on so support can be provided.

- If a message threatens to harm a person or property, the message needs to be taken to the local police station. Ask to see a sworn officer and get a police complaint number. It can be helpful for a young person to take a friend or an adult with them. If they are in immediate danger, call 111 straight away.

Who can be called about unwanted messages?

Once there are at least 4 unreplied to, unwanted messages:

Telecom (if  a Telecom customer): Call them free on 0800 809 806. Hours are Mon-Fri, 8:00am - 5:00pm.

Vodafone (if  a Vodafone customer): Call them on 777 from your mobile, or on 0800 800 021 from a landline. This will cost you $1 from your prepay which will be refunded once you have spoken to them about harassment. The Vodafone call centre is available 7 days, 8am to 8pm. If you have no credit you can text the word "BULLY" to 4001 and someone will call you back with in 48 hours.

Telstra (if a Telstra customer) phone 0800 299 500

2degrees call 200 from your mobile, or 0800 022 022

What can the mobile phone company do?
The mobile company can send a warning to the bully or can bar people from their network. In some cases they can provide a change of number, although in most cases this is not effective. They can also assist law enforcement in serious cases.

How do people make a complaint to their mobile phone company?
Telecom, Telstra, 2degrees and Vodafone can begin an investigation if a person has received 4 or more unwanted and unreplied to messages from the same number within a week. Remember, an investigation will usually only happen if the phone company can see that there is no calling or texting back (more than once). Asking 'Who is this?' or asking the person to stop texting (just once) is acceptable.

If more than one message has been sent in reply (or more than one call made) to the bully's phone during that week, then it's important to stop sending messages immediately. Then a call log can start being collected (as described above). Once there are 4 unreplied to messages the person can contact their phone company. If the messages are threatening, don't wait before reporting it to the Police (remember not to reply to threatening messages).

Vodafone, Telstra and Telecom and 2degrees require the time, date, and content of the messages, as well as the phone number the messages were sent from. The date and time of the message is usually contained in a 'time-stamp' at the beginning or end of the text message.

Things to discuss with young people to help prevent text bullying
- Be very careful about who numbers are given to. Also, don't give someone else's number out without asking them first.

- Don't reply to texts from people who are not known. In some cases, bullies send out random texts and wait to see who responds.

- Think about whether something being sent might make another person feel uncomfortable. Whether it is a 'joke' or something about another person, be aware that it might be taken the wrong way or sent on to someone else. If in doubt, don't send it.

- Always ask before taking a photo of another person (with a phone or other device) and check that it is ok before sending it to anyone else. Once a picture is sent to another person it is out of the sender's control and may be circulated among more people than first thought. Be aware that pictures can be manipulated by others after they have been sent, and may be posted online or distributed to an unknown audience.